Do You Want To Have Children?

by Ann on May 8, 2011

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Since the mid-1960s, with the passage of birth control legislation in the United States, more women are not having children. According to a Pew Research Report, “The New Demography of American Motherhood,” by Gretchen Livingston and D’Vera Cohn, that came out in August 2010, 1 in 10 women in the 1970s never had a child. By 2008, that number increased to 1 in 5 women. Moreover, 24% of women between the ages of 40-44 with a master’s, doctoral or professional degree had not had children. In 2008, 20% of white women, 17% of black and of Hispanic women, and 16% of Asian women never had a child.

Because women have more freedom in how they choose to live their lives, having a child has become more of an option than a given. And, women are having a difficult time in determining if this option is for them. Not many have had practice making this decision before and don’t know where to start. There is also too much conflicting information that is overwhelming to synthesize and digest. Instead of making a decision, many women avoid it, get stuck over-analyzing it (like me), or get pregnant without really thinking if having a child is what they truly want.

I know how confusing making this decision can be. Although I was a professional woman who earned a JD and an MBA, I struggled for years determining what I wanted to do. To help me overcome my uncertainty, I started interviewing people, and reading books and research reports. Over the past several years, I surveyed about 100 people and interviewed over another 300 to determine how people decide to have a child – what issues are encountered and factors considered when making this decision.

I decided to write a book, “The Baby Dilemma: How to Confidently Decide Whether or Not to Have a Child and Feel Good About It”, to share what I have learned and make the decision-making process easier for others. The Baby Dilemma is designed to help women and men gain insight about their thoughts and emotions surrounding having a child by going through a process based on recent brain research that combines the heart and mind. I also identify the top 12 issues that concern people when deciding to have a child and provide factual data to help alleviate uncertainties in these areas. Anecdotes from my life and those of the many people I interviewed are shared as well.

My book is coming out in September 2011.

Until then, check out my blog and sign up for my e-mail list to take a free quiz to determine where you are in your decision-making process. And, I‘ll let you know where and when you can purchase my book.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Sharon Lamm-Hartman May 8, 2011 at 7:06 PM

Hi Ann: Awesome blog. I can’t wait to read your book. Being a woman who at 39 had her first and only child, I believe it is a book that will help many women! I am sending your information to all women who are thinking about having a child. Sharon


Ann May 8, 2011 at 7:59 PM

Thank you for your interest and support! I am hoping I can save other women a lot of time and energy with their decision. If only I knew then, what I know now :-)


Heidi Sloss May 9, 2011 at 11:47 AM

Love the new blog! Can’t wait to read the book. Heidi


Irene Clary May 9, 2011 at 12:48 PM

I am very excited to read your book. I know many women who struggle with this issue. Although there was never a doubt in my mind. I always wanted to have children. I have three children and never doubt my decision. I had no idea what it really meant to have these little beings and be attached to someone emotionally in this way. It is a feeling that is overwhelming but incredibly fulfilling.


Ann May 9, 2011 at 1:33 PM

I know what you mean!! It’s more fulfilling than I could have ever imagined :-)


Beth May 10, 2011 at 11:57 AM

Hi Ann,
Love reading your blog and can’t wait to read your book! Fascinating and important subject. I am so grateful that I was able to have a child at 42 and know your research and insights are going to be helpful to a wide range of women.


Lindsay June 28, 2011 at 10:19 AM

This is exactly what I’ve been looking for! My husband and I struggle with this decision everday. I wish I was one of those people who “just knew” one way or the other, but I’m not. I look forward to getting helpful information from you and the women you’ve interviewed. Thanks!


DeAnnR August 29, 2011 at 7:10 AM

I guess I am the odd girl out. I knew since I was 4-5yo that Iwas not having kids. I am now 55 always find amazing that so many people, male or female, didn’t/don’t realize parenthood is optional.


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